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Do people here actually meet

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I normally have a good meet rate in swinging, but since moving here, all i've encountered are dreamers and excuse upon excuse for why people can't meet. Am i missing something here? I was told the swinging scene was very vibrant on this side of the pond, but am yet to see it.
Warming the Bed
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You have a good point I think. I have found over the years that regardless of what site you use, there are many that use the site as their personal chat venue to their specific friends and / or use the site for perpetual chat...never intending to ever hook up. Hand in hand with that is that many pretend to be swingers but in reality never have or never will. Goes with the territory I guess. But on the up side, I think many do also use the site properly and manage successfully.
Forum Virgin
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I've only met 1 couple on here that is even remotely interested about meeting up. Most of the time you can't get anyone to respond, and if they do, it's like pulling teeth for conversation. I think even just the idea of them being on a "swinger" site is enough for them. *sigh*
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Yes! Within three months of joining we met two couples, and know of several others through our network who have found couples on Swinging Heaven and met in person and played. I believe it is more difficult for single men, because for some reason couples shut them out. And there aren't very many single women on this particular site.
Forum Virgin
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I think this phenomena for some weird reason is pronounced in the 613. From what I understand the SP and MA's in our area have an extremely high cancellation rate. Some SP's don't even come to the 613 because of this. Some couples even put on their listing that they ARE looking for a single guy. I won't even begin to drag my partner into this for fear of getting her hopes up of meeting people.
Forum Virgin
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Quote by Different
Yes! Within three months of joining we met two couples, and know of several others through our network who have found couples on Swinging Heaven and met in person and played.
I believe it is more difficult for single men, because for some reason couples shut them out. And there aren't very many single women on this particular site.

Single men get shut out and attached men who's partners won't or can't get involved that much more.
It makes me wonder why. When I was married I had more then one married woman suggest that she was interested in more then just friendship and it was clear that her husband did not know and would not know. And we all know at least one married man that hooked up with a single lady and subsequently left his wife.
But online such women don't seem to exist at all.
I don't understand why, all I know is that it is frustrating to not have any opportunities to be with someone just because you refuse to abandon your partner because she is no longer capable of sharing that one thing.
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I have been wondering the very same thing, I signed up about three or four months ago and there has been no luck on this site!
Warming the Bed
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you get out of the site what you put in. completed profiles, willingness to chat, and get to know people before you jump into bed is very important. most people here that are serious swingers are not just looking for one night stands, or quick hook ups, although there are some that are. most swingers are looking for the right fit for a long term friendship/play partner(s). we have had much success and interest through this site.
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I agree 100% with what you're saying, but for me it hasn't been that simple, I have done many profile updates and still an admin wont approve the updates or your system won't actually register it in. And I have talked to many couples/single ladies on the pretense of a meet n greet and they are always coming up with excuse after excuse why they "cant" meet up....I'm also on at least three times a week, so I'm definitely interested and putting the effort in!
Warming the Bed
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Lol! So true... A lot of peeps looking to belong to xxx Facebook? Always an excuse...I wish there was a "just feelin this out " badge for them
Warming the Bed
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I find the site is a great way to connect and hear about parties, if you're looking to actually play you need to get out from behind your computer screen. The real people are out there waiting to meet you. 

Warming the Bed
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We find the majority of people on here are ALL TALK AND NO ACTION!

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So far the only people interested in actually meeting  us have been single guys and straight married guys that are in the closet and want to explore without their wives.

But we are not giving up hope, we are a fun couple and patient .lol

Forum Virgin
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We are guilty of this no show more chat and ill make a confession to you, I don't know if this will make you feel any better. There are a couple of reasons. 1. Have run into crazy people that are very scary and freak us out. My wife and myself didn't want to get involed because it seemed like all swingers aggressive abusive drug addicts. So it is very important you carefully screen people 2. Some people have family obligations sorry people but, they come first, especially if you have children or you have a sick family member that needs care. Yes my wife and are pervs. But that is secondary to employers and family etc etc etc now I'm sounding boring and I'm sorry for that, it's tough. So try to understand some of us do not want to hurt feelings. we don't mean to but that as my father used to is life. We really want to meet you, really. 



I have to agree with this. You never know who these people  really are so there is a natural reluctance.   Lots of people probably are exactly who they say  they are, but there are some weirdos out there and you know what they say about bad apples.  There really may be people on here who pretend to be going to meet up but really have no intention of doing so.  They lead you on, get your hopes up, then when the time actually arrives suddenly they are not available.  They're just here for the role play.  HOWEVER, that doesn't mean there aren't those of us on here who really DO have legitimate reasons for not being able to connect, or for having to cancel at the last minute.  Behind these profiles are real people.  There are jobs, families, health issues .... any number of things that may restrict availability.  Add to this if you are a couple, then you probably have double all of that and if you want to play together then you have to co-ordinate and come up with ONE time that fits BOTH of you.  Then throw in any travel that might be required, because people on here are from all over the place, and you are adding to the time required, and also throwing in another factor .... financial issues. Having a swing site makes if easy to talk to people, but life still controls what we do and when we can do it.  All I can say is don't give up.  Persevere and some day you might have luck.  We are relatively new to this particular site, but in the past we've had our fair share of no-shows for meet ups from connecting online at other places, but we have also met a few really good people.  It can happen.. 

Forum Virgin
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I've met a couple (3 sum) and a single bi male, love this site.

Forum Virgin
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I have only been on this site for a short time, but I have been in the lifestyle longer, and the one thing I know is that you have to have patience where ever you go.  You feel out your partners, and progress at your rate of speed, not hey, hi, let's fuck.  For everyone to enjoy this endeavor you must be willing to communicate and not expect..You might be surprised of the out come.  I have made some wonderful friends over the years, and they have included me in some of their adventures also.  So take the time to get to know the people you are approaching and have the patience to listen.

Warming the Bed
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We hope this is not a repeat of CD, all talk no action, did we waste our time and money? We are a serious couple, been in the lifestyle for many years and are not hung up over soulmates, soft swinging only, have to see if we really get along first. Lets make it happen and see where if goes is our philosophy.  

Forum Virgin
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we've been on here a few months and have hooked up with two couples. There are lots of profiles that seem abandoned, but there are definitely real people on here. As far as freaks and weirdos, I guess we've gotten lucky, haven't encountered any so far, cheers

Warming the Bed
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starting to have doubts for sure.

Forum Virgin
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Interesting topic. We have only been on this site for a few months and in that time communicated with several couples. One couple was NOT a couple. He claimed to be married, had the photos to prove it but when it came time to chat, it was obvious he was posing as his wife to my wife. It was very scary. The other couple, we seemed to get along with fine, exchanged many emails and photos and everything looked good for a meet, then, one day, the replies to our emails just stopped, no reason given... It is very frustrating and quite frankly very rude. So far we are not impressed.

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I think the problem with these sites is that most people here never have any intention of swinging at all the majority are husbands hiding it  from their wives have personally met a few of them or maybe a women not happy at home and so on there are some genuine couples on here to don't get me wrong and have chatted with some great folks but most people don't want to have a genuine get to know ya conversation and that is sad me and my partner been here for a bit as a couple and as singles she refuses to come on now because of single men harassing her and fake profiles and really can you blame her the idea is very erotic to us but there is so much crap that you have to weed through to get to where you want to go we are from a small town and as you can imagine discretion is a concern for us but a lot of people are blabber mouths and we are not really interested in showing off our private parts to everyone from here to the west coast we would like to find people that we actually have something in common with and can actually have a normal conversation with but i don't think we will find it here happy hunting.

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well here is a different twist on the topic,  my wife and I like MFM we have had a very hard time meeting single males.  I don't think we are to picky. We have few no's, like no married,  unspecified, attached,  with someone etc.  Just an honest single guy would be nice.  We would life a FWB  not just a one night stand.  A lot of guys seem to back out when we start chatting because I think there"single" status may be a front. 

On another note my wife is a bigger lady and I think that may turn some guys away (their loss lol). Too many Barbie hunters. Not all bad news though,  we did meet one really nice gentleman that we habe played with a couple of times unfortunately he is very fat set from us so it is hard to arrange times to get together. 

Hope this fits into this form discuss.  Have a great night

Forum Virgin
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Over that last four years or so we have met several couples face to face that we first connected with on SH. Most couples were exactly who they presented in their profiles, a few couples didn't resemble the photos, but I can't remember any "no shows'. That may be because we pay attention to red flags like: couples profiles that are filled with "I" statements, no photos, or more dick pics than photos anything else, profiles without locations, profiles created over a year ago stating "We are new". We look for incongruencies and contradictions in profiles and ask questions about them. Sometimes we have misunderstood them, sometimes they are honest mistakes and sometimes our questions go unanswered. We listen to our gut and talk to each other about it. 

We have noticed a lot of our message conversations seem to trail off. Perhaps it is a lack of interest on their part, but we know our level of interest in the LS varies with what is going on in our lives and sometimes we lose track of conversations, so we give the benefit of the doubt. Instead of us wondering after several months of silence, we send a message asking if they are still interested in meeting us. Most of the time the answer is yes with an apology. 

We try to be proactive and communicate as clearly as possible. It seems to be working for us.

T


Warming the Bed
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 lifestyleduo, That is a truly well thought out approach and beautifully expressed.  

 

Warming the Bed
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unless your pic are playboy quality I would not worry about the collectors.

Warming the Bed
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Quote by Ronmarie
unless your pic are playboy quality I would not worry about the collectors.

 The real concern about pic collectors, is that some people don't just leave them on the computers to harmlessly masturbate while looking at them, but they sometimes upload them to "amateur" porn sites.  I have seen photos on porn sites that were from here, including the 'swinging heaven' watermark, clearly on them.   And that means literally anyone could see them. So, for people who want to keep their swinging private (as most do), pic collectors are something to take precaution against.

Warming the Bed
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There definitely are real people here on this site. We've gone to one of the meet and greets so we've met a few of the regular chatters. We've also met people we played with on here. Some one and dones and others who are ongoing. Don't expect to meet right away. With patience and due diligence, you can meet some matches. The key is be honest and upfront. We weed out people fairly easily so that when we do meet, there is a much better chance of a playing match. We keep discrete but have no problem showing our faces relatively quickly. Those that don't reciprocate are red flags for us.

Warming the Bed
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we have been in the life style for over lost to forty year , met many vcouple in that time, have patience

Warming the Bed
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We have spoken to hundreds of people here and of course all are eager to meet. Then upon further scrutiny we see the reality.
98% (I might be generous here, could be 99%) of all the chats are with the male-half of the couple who makes ALL the claims that she is into, she's on board, etc, etc,... but she's never online to confirm. This is huge red flag to us. If you claim to be a couple, you need to get the other half online to prove it.
From where we stand (and it's laid out in our profile), we can talk about meeting till the cows come home... but if your wife is not going to get involved in the process of getting to know each other you will NEVER meet us. Getting involved means 3 things.
i) She comes online to chat, so we can ALL interact.
ii) We ALL have heard each other voices on the phone, confirmed we are real and confirmed that we have mutual interests.
iii) ALL four of us agree to a confirmed meeting.
Needless to say 99% of people don't make it past stage one.

Warming the Bed
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Quote by Luv2sucknswallow
We have spoken to hundreds of people here and of course all are eager to meet. Then upon further scrutiny we see the reality.
98% (I might be generous here, could be 99%) of all the chats are with the male-half of the couple who makes ALL the claims that she is into, she's on board, etc, etc,... but she's never online to confirm. This is huge red flag to us. If you claim to be a couple, you need to get the other half online to prove it.
From where we stand (and it's laid out in our profile), we can talk about meeting till the cows come home... but if your wife is not going to get involved in the process of getting to know each other you will NEVER meet us. Getting involved means 3 things.
i) She comes online to chat, so we can ALL interact.
ii) We ALL have heard each other voices on the phone, confirmed we are real and confirmed that we have mutual interests.
iii) ALL four of us agree to a confirmed meeting.
Needless to say 99% of people don't make it past stage one.

 I think you hit the nail on the head.. we like to 4way group chat so everyone is on board..