Join the most popular community of Canadian swingers now
Login

RANT Why Dont People Read Profiles

last reply
12 replies
3.9k views
2 watchers
5 likes
Swinging Heaven Logo 0 likes
We've stipulated certain parameters in our profile for contacting us... Seems some people read the profile and still contact us when they're well outside the parameters we've established. We've stipulated certain things...like age...over 45 and twinks are still contacting us...I mean really!!! We're old enough to be their parents...uhhhgggg...creepy...Hell I've got shoes that are older than them. As well I hate when while in chat someone just starts off with hi...Why cant you formulate a complete sentence and showing there is some commonality and the reason for the IM taking us out of the room and into private chat... I do love having the option of reaching out to people and respect their privacy maybe that's just me... Who else is getting pissed off with self centered egotists...and what have you been doing about it?
Warming the Bed
Swinging Heaven Logo 1 like

Yep and most single males DO NOT understand what NO MALES means...when they contact us we automatically BLOCK them as it is obvious that they are either ILLITERATE or just plain arrogant!


Forum Virgin
Swinging Heaven Logo 1 like

alot of single guys think they are so good that we will drop all our standards for them lol if they can get past the pics and cant comprehend the no single males then they are not smart enough to even consider if we did change our minds .

Swinging Heaven Logo 0 likes

I hear you Hedo...It's not that we're not open to single guys....as that's our preference...but we are not into the Mrs. Robinson Scenario and prefer a friend that's more our age...what I am hearing is a total disrespect of Parameters that we've established...and that you all have established...yes you're right aren't worth the effort of communicating...block is the closest amount of energy we'll put into their contact...


Forum Virgin
Swinging Heaven Logo 0 likes

Yes, I see that all the time. I share your rant and have thought this many times recently. When we signed up  my man signed up first to check the place out, get a feel for it, and see if he thought I would like it.  We didn't realize there was a "couples" profile option.  Therefore, we each have our own that appear to be "single" profiles.  So yes, I understand there may be some confusion resulting in the initial clicking on my profile considering it's tagged as a single female.  However, both profiles clearly state "with someone" as the status, and mine lays it out there clear as day "I play as a couple with with my man ... with single men or groups of men....no women". In my "seeking" section it says "straight male".   Anyone who understands English should be able to tell that 1) we are a COUPLE  2) we play as a COUPLE  3) although we ARE seeking single men, no I will not go off on my own to play with you one on one  4) no, we are not interested in letting your wife join us, nothing personal against her, we just don't want that  5) no, my man does not want to play with a bi male, that's why I am seeking a straight male.  He is not phobic at all but that's just not what we are looking for.  I get all of these questions asked of me, all the time.   Either they don't actually read the profiles, or they seem to think that they are so special that people will drop all their stated parameters just for them.  Oh, and location is a good item to read as well.  I keep getting messages from BC, Alberta and the Maritimes asking for hook ups.  I don't mind the ones who just want conversation and aren't looking for more so it doesn't matter where we live, but when you're looking to hook up it helps to acknowledge that you are several thousand miles away before you waste everybody's time!

Swinging Heaven Logo 1 like

I Agree ! So frustrating - I think either they just send messages to anybody / everybody and hope for the best. That or they must think they are the exception!!!

So -

Under "settings" then "privacy" there is a place that says "accept messages from"  

Females 

Males 

Couples 

by  default all three are checked. We just unchecked Males and it solved the problem.    ( thanks to my husband who told me - I don't think I would of seen it )

Swinging Heaven Logo 0 likes

As a host of house parties at my home I have messaged couples to invite them to a party because it is open to couples and single.  For the most part we do attract a lot of couples but if I am looking for playmates myself I read the profile and respect their wishes, weather it be being single bi male, or age limit what ever is fine.  There are lots of people out there.  You aren't going to get lucky or make friends by pissing people off.

Swinging Heaven Logo 0 likes

This is such a common problem and certainly not restricted to only this site. I have seen the same behaviour on every other site I have been on. 

As others have noted, it's hard too tell if it's laziness, desperation or an attempt to 'beat the odds'. 

Just because this is promoted as a sex site, it doesn't mean that courtesy a respect should be tossed out the window whether it's when sending emails or contacting in the chat room.

Forum Virgin
Swinging Heaven Logo 0 likes

I can only imagine what you all go through & frustration you feel when people just don't read!

This is a society problem where there's a whole lot of super pushy people who DON'T read, don't respect, don't care & charge ahead and do whatever they want. Social graces and respectful practices are forgotten when they have their dick out & jackin & siftin' through all the profiles while horny.... Can you imagine what they'd be like in person? 

Single women on dating sites get the same disrespectful treatment with a whole lot of dick pics and disrespect, not limited to this place. 

It's a numbers game mindset, send out quantity in personable messages and hope someone responds...thinking with their little head. 

I'm a single guy, but read closely as what people on this site are selective, and careful when writing their profiles and what they want & seek, I respect the shit out of that & don't message, I may comment on posted pics, they're more sexy after reading your profiles anyways...least to me.


 

Swinging Heaven Logo 0 likes

We have something to say on this subject our profile clearly states straight couple looking for straight couple pretty self explanatory or at least we thought so but WOW ! we got many messages from single men asking if we are interested at first you politely decline and move on but after a while it really gets annoying it is a real turn off for us we do not message people that are clearly not interested in us that's called respect and we expect the same why are there so many single men on a couples site anyway oh yeah and if you dare get on cam it's the same crap male after male messaging even after they looked your profile and some ask over and over like come on READ OUR PROFILE and leave us alone so sad that some people have zero respect i am sure there are couples here looking to add a male but to be honest with some of the attitudes we have seen here we completely understand why single men get a bad wrap so in our opinion if single men want to be here great but respect peoples wishes if you want people to have a better opinion of you then you need to change your behaviour R.E.S.P.E.C.T people instead of running around like a bunch of adolescent's looking at profiles and messaging anyone and everyone even if they are clearly not interested we wish we could block all males from seeing our profile and in chat period and be done with it that would make this so much more enjoyable sorry if this rubs some the wrong way but it is our opinion and we know we are not alone.

Warming the Bed
Swinging Heaven Logo 0 likes

Its not only mail but its also in general chat. some of them think they are gods gift to women. They dont read your profile it doesn't register when you say no males. they are more interested in getting down your are some couples on here that do it as well. There are fakes that use couples profile to convince you they are legit but are not. There are really rude couples out there too and its not just the males

Warming the Bed
Swinging Heaven Logo 2 likes

We've used the feature in settings to block MAIL from single men.  However there is no such feature in the Chat room.  (Even if you use the filters at the bottom left to limit who you see, they still keep coming... relentlessly).  (Not to mention that once in Chat room, the "Report" button on their chat profile doesn't seem to do anything.)

The sad thing is 99% of the time, they say they've read our profile, and we clearly say that we are not interested in contact from single men.

There are a few fundamental issues with this entire site, and I have a feeling admin will never listen to us, nor add features to help in this regard.

  1. Fakes - Far too many fake "couples" accounts are being run by single guys (posting ex-girlfriends photos, or non-participating wife, maybe without even her consent).  "Single-woman" accounts are also most of the time fake.  We'd guess 90% of the profiles on here that are 1+yrs old and don't have any photo validation, or vouches, are fake, run by a single male.  The only way to fix this is that those of us that are real, to INSIST on photo verification in profiles (as a start).  We've resorted to just not even bothering with profiles that can't put the effort into photo validation.  They FINALLY added the "photo validated" filter to the search option...
  2. Blocking of Single guys (Blocking incoming mail is a good start...)  We'd love it if we didn't even see that they looked at our profile, or liked any of our photos.  It congests our "feed", and some of the comments on our photos are just juvenile (and we generally delete them).

Much of the above has been sent to site admin as "feedback" and "suggestions", and they don't seem to want to do anything about it.  We do know why.  It's business.

However, we've thought of starting a "VALIDATION DRIVE" to get those LEGIT accounts educated that they too can easily photo verify, and start filtering matches based on that (as a good start anyways).

F4L