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So many questions?

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1 week ago
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Forum Virgin
Swinging Heaven Logo 0 likes 1 week ago


We are new to all this as a couple. My 1st marriage ended because he got attached and chose her and got her pregnant, so my now husband ( of 12 years) and I have started talking about dipping our toes in. I really enjoy being with other women and he wants me to have that, but we as a couple are looking for another male (maybe couple) but very overwhelming on where to start. So many questions, like:

- How do you do meet ups, where do you go to have hook ups ( our home is off limits- 2 teenager home bodies here lol). I am not comfortable just yet going to clubs with everything going on.

- What do you do after the fun? Do you just say thanks and leave?

- Are there red flags we should be looking for?

This is something we have talked about and feel we are in a good place to take this step.

Help please 🥰

Forum Virgin
Swinging Heaven Logo 2 likes 1 week ago

I'm no expert but couples' profiles with nothing but dick pics is a red flag to me. While it's common for the guy to do the first communications, you should check and hear from the lady of the pair - phone or video chat - to verify her existence. Some guys will show up solo to a meet-up and say "Since we're here anyway..." but lies are a bad start. Very bad.
Unless you're a nobler person for whom looks don't matter at all, zero pics are a yellow flag.
Afterwards? I think it depends on the chemistry. As the "add-on" to a couple, I try to check their expectations before. Do they usually allow for some 'basking' in the afterglow or do they want to get each other alone to reclaim each other? The last couple I played with a bunch of times, they always finished with each other but, after the first time, were glad to have me stick around and contribute a little (without trying to steal the spotlight).