Visiting Toronto ON in May 2002 from Berlin, Germany - how do things work in Canada?

Hello, dear Canadians,

as we will be visiting Canada (Toronto, to be exact) in May 2020, and we neither know the Canadian (Ontario) swinger scene, nor any swinger there in person, we now try to reach out early in order to prepare for having a great time there. We do speak English, but unfortunately not French. As we are both not native speakers, it might appear to you that we use a somewhat "formal" language in this forum, as well. Please do not be irritated by that, we have not learned it otherwise.

However, we are experienced swingers from Berlin, Germany (that is in Europe, by the way ); some details can be seen from our profile here. In Germany, we are members of the local equivalent to this platform, called "Joyclub" (perhaps some few of you even know it).

As it appears, there is quite a number of swinger clubs in Toronto - we are looking forward to visiting some.

Different countries have different written and unwritten rules, and as we all come from immigration countries (Canada and Germany), we know that we are quite tolerant towards obviously unwitting people coming from abroad, but, however, it is nevertheless better to be informed when arriving. Perhaps there are some "hacks" or simply things we would not expect when we come there from Europe? Are there any big differences? For example, we read something about "annual membership fees" - does this apply to one-time visitors in any case, as well (what are these fees there for)? Does the "clubwear" people wear (and, thus, the formal or informal dresscode) significantly differ from European standards? How do people approach each other? We read that visitors have to sign some document - what is that about, and does it have any significance?

And - are there any platforms or ways to sign up to a guest list, as it is quite common in Germany (there, you can sign up through "Joyclub", although not exclusively, and see who else, and how many people, will probably be attending)? Is it usual in Canada to contact the club by mail before visiting? And - after all these curious questions - would any couple then be happy to join us for a night out in Toronto (without "obligations", of course)? If many answer to all these questions we put here, we should be well prepared then. :) 

Best regards and see you soon

Jule and Dannius from Berlin

Greetings and welcome when you do arrive in Canada!

I can answer a few of these questions for you. I work with The O Zone, and for us, there is no annual membership fee. We incorporate that into the first visit, and it never expires. (I understand most of the other clubs have an annual fee... no idea if they allow a 'visitors pass' without membership for a 1 time visit)

The O Zone is only open Fri and Sat nights, and admission for regular nights (unless it's a super party) are Fri = $40/couple, Sat = $60/couple (membership is included). We also have "DP Fridays" where if you go on Fri and pay the admission, let us know you'll be back on Sat. night and you're in for free!
The membership fees in Ontario allow a club to allow 'on premise' sex (don't need to go to a hotel room when you're ready to play). Gathering personal information on each couple allows us to be a "members only club" and is another aspect that allows us to offer the On Premise aspect.

Swinger Rules/Etiquette stipulate 'no touching without consent' and 'no means no'. Most swingers use protection with any partners not their primary, and most clubs in Toronto (at least The O Zone does) supply basic latex condoms and lubricant. (we also offer FREE locks/lockers, towels, shower, mouth wash, parking, snacks and food served throughout the evening, self serve coat check - many of the other clubs charge for some of these.... downtown clubs have crazy expensive parking fees) 

Not all attendees at all swingers clubs are swingers. Lots of open minded couples like to go to The O Zone or other spaces just to dance, dress provocatively, flirt with their partner and perhaps others. Don't be surprised if you are turned down, as not everyone is interested in the same things you might be. (like public sex, sex with someone not their partner, or penetrative sex). It's been my experience that some people just like the atmosphere at a club. 

The O Zone is a nightclub with dance floor and stellar sound and light system, and rotating DJ's. Most of the Toronto swinger clubs have a nightclub feel (except Oasis... it's more like a bathhouse, light music, more casual and is open all day)

Not knowing what the norm is in Europe, I can't really answer in comparisons. We prefer a dress code of "Dress to Impress" rather than street clothes (if everyone dresses up or wear costumes, that adds to the atmosphere.... if ppl are wandering around in jeans and flipflops, that really reduces the energy in a room/club). 

How do people approach each other? Politely without touching... start with a question or comment. (Have you been here before? or Those are gorgeous shoes! Really makes your legs look great! That usually breaks the ice enough to know whether you should stick around to chat, or move on.)

Hope this helps!! Safe travels!

If you might get a chance to visit Ottawa while you're here we'd be happy to help you navigate the possibilities here. M is Dutch but lived in Stade for 5 years before immigrating to Canada and is fluent in German in addition to English.

Hello, dear Canadians - who replied to our post, and who had sent us private messages -

Thank you very much for your warm welcome messages. Indeed, the differences between European and Canadian venues appear to be rather slim, or, at least, the differences between individual places are larger than the general differences between cotinents.

I understand that "on premises sex" is a legal issue, and it requires some  legal "workaround" to render a place private. We are not familiar to this concept, as - you might not believe it - sex in public is not illegal in Germany, unless it can be established that it disturbs a specific person who has a reason to be disturbed by it. So if it is clear that, at a specific place, other persons have sex, nobody may reasonably feel disturbed by it, and it is therefore legal. Therefore, not only specific swinger clubs, but also some dance clubs tolerate sex in their rooms. I understand that "membership fees" can, however, be incorporated into the price or charged extra. What seems t be a specific German phenomenon is that with a premium membership in certain swinger online communities, entrance fees get discounted.

The "dress to impress" applies to some places, and we think we will be able to deal with it, even though there will be the natural luggage restrictions for us as we will travel intercontinental. We will rather dress "lighter". :-) It seems that the "no gos" (coloured shorts, bathing shoes, old people's underwear, blue jeans, sneakers ...) are the same anyway. Also, the way of approaching people seems to be quite similar.

Here, the question whether people rather come to enjoy atmosphere, or are really willing to swap partners, rather depends on the announced party "format" (motto), than on the location. This eems to be a real difference: Most locations announce their party mottos for specific days well in advance, then open for online registration through one of the big platforms, and once the party is booked out, no new registration are accepted. In these announcements, it can happen that sentences like "we prefer participants to actively engage in activities; newbies or people who rather want to enjoy the atmosphere are rather advised to visit our other party XYZ ...". Nobody will be shown the door if they do not participate, but, however, people know what to expect. Many visitors do not really like the "glued couples" who appear to be insulated from the rest of the participants, so they prefer those parties. I wonder if there is a way in Ontario to discover what general attitude can be expected from one or the other location or party.

might have to do nothing and be on your own for 14 days.