the tough part is breaking the ice,,, it took us a couple of tries before we were able to make a good connection lol ( a few stories of the wrong couples we met the first few times lol) we found it worked best when we met with an experinced couple and got introduced around their circle of friends. We found in this lifestyle you really have to take the inititive and get yourself out there to the places swingers are at. And don't expect to hit a home run the first time it does take a bit to sort out what you're  really comfortable with and what others are comfortable with. really for the average couple it takes about 6 months to a year before you hook up with someone( unless your looking to share your wife with single guys, then it doesnt take as long)