Arrive and leave as a couple

Always arrive as a couple, and leave, it wont be viewed favorably if one partner leaves early and the other stays, the majority of time, if one goes, both go.

Arrive on time

Its not fashionable to turn up late to parties, as the night will have already got underway, and you may make people who have already began feel awkward walking in late, it will also be harder for you to fit in. If you are going to be late, maybe due to traffic, give the host a ring and check with them, they may update you on how the night is going so you can walk straight into it.

Be courteous

The swinging lifestyle is full of insecurities and uncertainties. Being courteous can help ease this. Treat people in the way you want to be treated; sensitively, thoughtfully, understandingly.

Be friendly

Be friendly with every one, even if you don't want to take it further with them, you may find you have other things in common, or they may introduce you to people who you are interested in.

Respond to all invitations

Respond to all invitations, even if you don't plan to attend. It is very annoying when you're the host, if you don't know how many people are going to turn up. Reply by either by a phone call or a letter, thanking them for an invite.

Never arrive empty handed

Phone the host and ask them if there's any thing you can bring, always arrive with something for the hosts.

Go prepared

Take with you what ever you will need, toothbrush, comb, perfume/aftershave, Condoms, robe etc. If you're sleeping over night then a sleeping bag and pillow.

Neat casual clothing and good grooming

Always take a robe or negligee with you, you will find it more comfortable as the evening progresses. Keep money, jewelers and other such valuables at a minimum, it's an embarrassment to you and your hosts if you lose them.

Your health and hygiene

The main thing that will turn your potential partners off will be bad breath or body odour. Have a shower before you leave for your party, and it's a good idea to freshen up when you get there.

Only do what's fun for you

The whole idea is that you enjoy your self, that's why you are in the lifestyle. Don't be pressured into doing any thing you don't want to, with any one you don't want to, always say no if you don't want to.

How and why to say no

The most basic and important swinging etiquette is the right to say no. A simple and polite "No, thank you" is all that is needed. You don't need to explain, as this may cause problems and hurt. Don't be afraid to say no, every one has the right, and if you do end up doing things you don't want to it will cause more ill-felling and embarrassment.

Don't be pushy

If you fancy swinging with someone let them know in a nice, inviting way, if they say no, it is up to them. Don't ask them why, as this could be embarrassing and hurtful. If they say no, don't carry on and try to sweet talk them and flirt with them, as this can do a lot more harm than good.


Most people like a few drinks at a party, drinking socially is fine, it can provide a good social platform to get to know people, it can also help you relax. Overindulging is not a good thing though, as it can hinder for physical and mental performance, and is a turn off for many people. If you need to drink heavily to participate in the party this isn't the lifestyle for you.

Practice safer sex

It is up to you to protect yourself and your partner. The use of condoms should not offend any one, it is not saying your dirty, it is simple a means to protect all parties involved. Anyone not willing to use a condom is selfish and irresponsible. However, saying that, if all participating people are happy not to, it will be down to your discretion.

Don't take someone to a party who is not fully informed

This is an obvious one, never take any one to a party who doesn't know what there going to, it is very embarrassment for every one, and probably will cause problems.

Don't take a 'ticket' to a swinger's party

A ticket is someone who goes with you to the party just to get you in, but has no intention swinging, of course no one HAS to swing, but if one person swings, it is normally expected that the other one is willing to swing.

The group room is for group swinging

As the name suggests, the group room is for group swinging, if you want privacy don't go to the group room, if you take your partner with you into the swinging room you can expect others to ask to join you, obviously you still have the right to refuse.

Don't disturb the swinging enjoyment of others

If you're in a bedroom or the group room, don't disturb the swinging of others with prolonged talk. This can be very mood-destroying and very annoying!

Don't be a bedroom cruiser

Don't walk into bedrooms, peel back curtains, turning on lights etc. Accidents do happen, and this isn't a problem, but if you become known for such behavior then you will find that you won't receive many invites in the future.

Enjoy yourself

Probably the most important one, approach every thing with an open mind and positive attitude, act out your fantasies, and enjoy your self.

Tell the hosts

If someone is causing a problem, if they're not taking no for an answer or they're being abusive, tell the hosts, they will be more than willing to help.

Call to say thanks

Always call or write to say thanks, for one thing it will get you invited again, and it will let the hosts know that they provided a good party

We hope you enjoyed our 'Swinging Etiquette' page and that it met up to your expectation.